Too many notes – tips for succinct writing
Image: Geert Pieters from Unsplash
Writing succinctly isn’t easy. Here are my top tips for trimming those excess words.
Sometimes, when I’m editing, a scene from the 1984 film Amadeus pops into my mind. A young Mozart plays a piece from his opera The Abduction from the Seraglio for Emperor Joseph II. Here’s an abridged excerpt:
Emperor: Well, Herr Mozart! An excellent effort! You've shown us something quite new today.
Mozart: So then you like it? You really like it, Sire?
Emperor: Well of course I did. It's very good. Of course, now and then – just now and then – it seems a touch elaborate.
Mozart: What do you mean, Sire?
Emperor: Well, occasionally it seems to have … how shall one say? Director?
Opera director Orsini-Rosenberg: Too many notes, Your Majesty?
Emperor: Exactly. Very well put! Too many notes.
Mozart (indignant): I don't understand. There are just as many notes, Majesty, as I required! Neither more nor less.
Emperor: My dear fellow, there are in fact only so many notes the ear can hear in the course of an evening.
Like composers with their notes, skilful writers employ precisely the right number of words to create clear and compelling prose. As we all know, though, it’s so much easier to write more than less. Make no mistake – writing succinctly is hard.
Here are my top three tips for trimming excess words from your writing.
#1 First and foremost, tautologies
Tautologies introduce extra words because they say the same thing twice. Think ‘close proximity’, ‘new innovation’ and ‘depreciate in value’. Here’s a generic example of something we might be asked to edit with the tautologies in bold:
Returning again to the foundational purpose of this joint collaboration, we aim to add new innovations to the previously existing roadmap to guide us going forward.
#2 Passive resistance
You may have a good reason to use the passive voice – for example, to avoid naming and shaming. Mostly, though, you should avoid it.
A passive construction uses many more words than its active counterpart:
Passive (18 words): Researchers in this field of study will be assisted by the findings that were identified in the trial.
Active (11 words): The trial findings will help researchers in this field of study.
#3 Ditch the fillers
When it comes to filler phrases, every writer has their favourite (or three), and every editor has their pet peeve. Mine is, ‘It is important to note that’. If it’s that important, then you should probably lead with it.
Other common filler phrases to avoid are, ‘At this point in time’, ‘Due to the fact that’ and ‘In spite of the fact that’. Ditch them, or replace them with ‘now’, ‘because’ and ‘although’.
Despite the Emperor’s misgivings, Mozart’s opera was a huge success. But let’s not dismiss his advice. There are only so many words your readers can process in one go, and the more complicated your writing is, the less they’ll absorb. Make every word count.